The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards
kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter .
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al
wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and
it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum
tru.
Und efter ze
fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
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