Mumbai: Coating their bitterness in sweet sarcasm,Mumbaikars have been penning punchy poems on sky-high onion prices and sending out droll SMSes.
With vegetables becoming a status symbol,funny sights were unfolding in marketplaces around town.In Lokhandwala Complex,for instance,memsahibs given to carrying Birkins and dinky LVs turned up at roadside stalls in SUVs and stilettos,filling transparent bags with a heavy load of greens.Naturally,the accompanying house help did the bargaining.
In a marked contrast to the officious All India Radio news bulletins,FM radio stations painted the town red with smart spoofs on onion prices.One station aired a qawwali whose writer finds onions more appealing than Bipasha Basu.Kanda bhajia aur kanda poha ko karenge miss,Dono ko dete hain flying kiss, read the verse.
Water-cooler conversations revolved around dacoits who choose to loot onion godowns over banks and how bridegrooms demand the bulb in dowry.
Of course,the internet helped in the cause.A certain Darshil has composed a song titled Dr Darshil ki doongli: A Gujju Doorie song.Another cried,Chahiye thoda pyaaz,thoda pyaaz chahiye,only to be met with Kanda badnam hua minister tere liye.
Onion witticisms borrowed heavily from Bollywood.In one internet joke,lending a 2010 touch to Salim-Javeds Deewar dialogue,one brother says to another,Mere paas bangla hai,gaadi hai,Ferrari hai,tumhare paas kya hai After the famous pause,the other retorts,Mere paas das rupaye kilo kharida gaya godown bharke pyaaz hai.
The laughs continued.If Guru Dutt were alive today he would make a film named Pyaaza about a poet struggling to buy one kilo onion.Blogger Satish Vanahalli quipped that filmmaker Shankar was about to remake Anniyan;it will now be called Onion.And in all this,how could Rajinikanth be far behind One wag said the actor can make onions cry,but asked if he can reduce prices.One Prakash Kumar wants to know if there are onion seeds for sale in FarmVille.
Narendra Khandal and Partha Roy suggested that people invest in land,gold and onion for a bright future.Business-minded Honey Kapoor handed out investment tips,suggesting people buy onions at Rs 45 and target Rs 60-70,perhaps doing the same for LPG and petrol.
Antony Praveen pointed out: Onion@ 100... after Sachin onion is the one to hit a century. Funnyman Manindra Singh asked,Why did the male onion ditch his girlfriend Coz she was high maintenance. But what Kanwar Sodhi really wanted to know was that if someones acting really pricey,do we say they are going onions
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