Petrol and Juice

Donate One litre.

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the Panjim-Mapuca highway.    Nothing has moved for half an hour, when suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, “What's going on?”* *

The man tells him that Russians down the road have kidnapped some Goan MLAs.   “They're asking for a 10 million ransom or they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. Several people are going from car to car,   to make a collection.”

The driver asks, “How much is everyone giving, on an average?”    The man replies, “Most people are giving about a litre.”

Goan Jews.

Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are American Jews and had come to Goa with a troop of Israelis for some R&R. While sitting at a local taverna, it came upon Benjie to ask, "Are there any Goan Jews?"

"I don't know," Oscar replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" The rest of the troop had no idea either. When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him, "Are there any Goan Jews?"

"I not know sir, I check," the waiter replied, and he went to speak to the bartender. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Goan Jews."

"Are you sure?" Benjie asked.

"I checking again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the bartender.

While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in Goa, our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Goan Jews.."

"Are you really sure?" Benjie asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Goan Jews."

"Sir, I check," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, mango Jews and pineapple Jews, but Patrao not knows Goan Jews! If you like, you can even have Feni with Jews."

Contributed by A.B.Vas